i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
