Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
