We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
