AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
