i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
