Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
