I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
