i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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