I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
