He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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