Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
