Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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