Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize