Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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