You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
