can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
