Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
