you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
