Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
