what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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