Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
