I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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