I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
