i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
