i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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