god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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