Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
