Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
