I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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