he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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