Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize