genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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