Me. At least after what I've been through.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
