gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
