her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
