YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
