she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
