Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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