fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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