Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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