Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
