It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
