This girl is more easily done than said...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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