I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
