question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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