Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
