I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize