Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
