when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
