He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
