those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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