I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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