So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
