I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're my little dorito
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Blood and glitter go together right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
A+ Viking dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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