Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to make a zoo with you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When are your genitals available?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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