Dual....:-)
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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