I'm lost and stupid without you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
