I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
