i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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