its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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