Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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