JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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