Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
