Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
