everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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