I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
