Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
