i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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