My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
whose parrot is this?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
