In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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