i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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