This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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