i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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