You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
