home. puking in laundry basket.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just puked most of my soul out..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
