I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I believe in your delicious
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize